I always like to start these off by saying how much I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read or comment, especially if you’re going through this with a loved one or healing from the passing of someone you know that went through this. Your emotional labour in comforting myself or others doesn’t go unnoticed and its extraordinarily kind.
My mum has been with my grandparents all week trying to help take some of the pressure off my grandad. My grandma finally had an assessment to be put on a crisis care long term care list. However, the LIHN coordinators seem to think because family has been up there with my grandparents, that there’s enough family support that its not nearly as urgent as the initial assessment dictated. Family has only been able to go up so much because of COVID (face palm) and with things re-opening we were banking on them helping us bridge the gap between being at home and getting into long term care.
That happened two weeks ago.
This past week, after my grandma (the dementia patient) once again threatened my grandad, my mum took her to the hospital to maybe see if there was something up with her medications. They got to the hospital but hadn’t even parked and my grandma took off.
9/11 was called and she was found within the hour but in such a deep state of psychosis that she got placed in a psychiatric hold and will likely be there for the next two weeks.
The positive is that she is somewhere safe, the negative is that she has gone basically non-verbal in like 3 days, the geriatric team we’ve been working with is on vacation over the next few weeks, and we’ve just been told that once my grandma stabilised they want to transfer her to a psychiatric rehab facility which is so far away from my grandad (who cannot drive due to his vision).
I’m emotionally spent. I’m so desperately sad for my grandad who has endured months of the woman he loves going from sweet to sour on him daily (she broke up with him nearly every day). It feels like the worst ending to their beautiful and wonderful life together and I don’t have any words to really bring him comfort.
And I’m so mad at the universe for doing this to my grandma. It feels like an unfair end to her life as well. I can’t begin to imagine the frustration and confusion she must be feeling.
This just sucks and I just want a fraction of good in all of this. Literally the only thing I can cling to is the nice lunch her and I had a month a go. I listened to the same story 5 times but she was chatty and animated and happy.